Thursday, May 05, 2005

Finally, research worth funding.....

"New Study Finds 'Fundamentalism' Genetic"

New studies in genetics research have linked certain biological attributes with fundamentalism in humans. A genetic factor is seen as a probable determining link to Christian Fundamentalism. Such behavioral attributes as political conservatism, an inability to dance well and a propensity to eat during most social occasions have been linked to a measurable increase in sphincter tension. The ethical and political implications of this finding are considered by many analysts to be staggering.

Being politically right of center can no longer be seen as a choice for these people. Since fundamentalists are born that way, not only is it impossible for them to change but fundamentalism becomes the only honest and natural course for them.

The Institute for Research in Political Correctness, or IRPC, has concluded that since fundamentalism is both genetically determined and natural that it must necessarily be morally correct and politically acceptable as well. This has caused conflict within some liberal circles who note that fundamentalism is often diametrically opposed to political correctness. It is hoped that ongoing research by ethical relativists will be able to find a solution to this problem. One theorist was quoted as saying,

"We are close to a breakthrough in proving that light is dark, and that research should also help solve the problem of integrating what we know to be politically acceptable with the attitudes and values inherent in fundamentalism."

0 Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis?

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