Friday, May 06, 2005

Remember the good-old-days?

Remember back when getting out of bed on a Saturday morning was exciting? Cartoons and sugary cereal! I don't! Growing up, my dad was a diabetic. So sugar didn't often find its magical way to our house. (Oh, sure, the neighbors to the east would smuggle some of the contraband across our boarders occasionally) So it was 'Shredded' paper and 'Puffed' whatever (good sources of
fiber you know!), smothered with as much
Sugar substitute as we could stand. Meanwhile, as we huddled round the warm glow of our
cartoons, I was bombarded by sweet communist propaganda,
Cereal Commercials! The torture!
Every four minutes, it was the same thing: Sugar Pops, Apple Jacks, Cap'n Crunch, Cookie Krisp. But I think my favorite was
Lucky charms. I used to beg for it every shopping trip. On my hands and knees in the cereal isle. Then finally, it happened. My mother, completely embarrassed by the site of me wailing on the floor, gave in! That little, green, midget (sorry, small person) bastard was finally mine!
I couldn't wait to get home and tear it open! All those sugary
marshmallow 'things' were now mine. Green clovers, blue diamonds, yellow moons, pink hearts, and then some brown things, whole grain something or other. And the PRIZE! Who could forget that?
Well, I got home, raced to the kitchen, tore open the box, and began stuffing my mouth full of sweet victory. Then I realized how nasty this stuff was. What the....
I had been tricked! There was nothing magical or good about this stuff. The marshmallow things were hard and tasted like sweetened wood chips, and slowly dissolved in my mouth leaving a gritty slime covering my teeth. That Monday, I fell into a deep depression that would last 5 days. It was only on the sixth day that I had an epiphany (well maybe it was just another commercial) it wasn't Lucky Charms that I needed, it was Trix! How could I have been so blind? Lemony yellow, orangey orange, raspberry red........
Now that I'm grown up (well, at least older and larger) and have kids of my own, I can pass along some of my wisdom.......Peanut Butter cap'n Crunch is the BEST!
Oh, sure, there's a box of "grown-up cereal" in the pantry, but it's only for show!

1 Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Blogger Allen Snook whispered...

mmmmm.... sugar..... have you tried Shrek cereal yet? full of pasty sugary goodness

the new layout looks pretty good

3:45 PM  

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