Monday, August 29, 2005

Bad day/ Good wife

where do i start? everything was fine until i got out of bed this morning.
i was a little late getting up, but not too bad.....or so i though. see the power had gone out last night and then came back on about 20min later. so my alarm clock was 20min slow. damn.
so no time to move all my tools from my truck to my wife's. why move them? oh, i forgot to tell you, the alternator is dead on my truck. but it will start with a jump from my portable starter. only 20 min late for work, and done with my first job in 3 hours. now i can head home to install the new $200 alternator my wife picked up for me (thanks babe!)
but now, as i type, i'm on the side of the freeway, waiting for my wife (thanks again)to BRING me the new alternator. it seems my truck decided it REALLY needed the alternator in order to go any further. oh, and a new alternator belt, too.
wait this parts really great. last night as i was cleaning out my truck (i couldn't see the floor) i stared right at my socket set and thought "should I put that in?.....nah, i won't need it until tomorrow afternoon."
DUMBASS!
luckily, i was able to catch my wife befroe she left to come rescue me.

so, here i sit, waiting. its really warm here in my car, and wouldn't you know it, my windows are electric, and won't roll down with out the car on.
So im sitting, waiting, sweating in the car. no air, no radio. just my trustee laptop. at least for the next 12 min. when the battery dies on this!
AHHHHH!
at least its after noon, so when i'm all done I can go right home and drink til i forget. but do i have anything at home in the fridge?
guess i need one more favor from the wife. ;')

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Quite possibly, the funniest thing I have ever read!

Most Americans are at least familiar with the debate over Intelligent Design VS. Evilution, but I doubt many are aware of the "Pastafarians".

check 'em out here! But use the bathroom first, you made to change your undies after reading.

Monday, August 15, 2005

I like this....

Something good to chew on from Biscotti Brain.....

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Change is good, right?

Few changes here. Felt like the old look just wasn't me anymore.
Some times I wonder how good or bad is change really? I mean its always getting dropped in between the couch cushions....Sorry, wrong change.
I have a friend who has been making changes in his life for the last, well, 2 years I have know him.
He's in his 30's. Married. Kids. For some time now, he's been trying, and for the most part succeeding, in becoming who he feels God wants him to be. It's a tough road to hoe when you start making changes later in life. Old dog-new tricks and all that. I too, have been making some changes. So why is it some changes come easier than others?
I spent a good part of my life with my head in the sand when it came to politics and religion. I felt that what was good enough for my parents was good enough for me. But I am finding that line of thinking just doesn't work. I have different political views than my Mom and Dad. And my approach to Christianity is much different than theirs. So why is it those things, ingrained ways of thinking, easier to change than say my desire to "fix" everyone's problems. Or change my parenting style? And why is it so hard for others to change, or rather re-think their views?
So as my friend and I work at finding our true selves, why are others still hiding, even running from theirs?

Friday, August 12, 2005

Memories....

I often joke that I'm and asshole. Maybe its no joke.......

I was reading a blog briefly this morning. One that I had never seen before (and now can't seemed to find again). This guy was lamenting about getting older. Basically he was saying he used to have a pretty good memory, but now he was on some medication and getting older and was forgetting everything. Bottom line was that even though he may forget to pick up his kids from school or turn off the oven, he also was quick to forget hurtful remarks that others mite make. He was okay with that.
I have a completely opposite problem. No I'm not suddenly getting younger, but I am remembering more. Its kinda erie sometimes. I have been taking medication for awhile now to help with some adult ADHD, and it has a few side affects. One is I have lost almost 20 pounds. (Damn I needed that!) and two, I am remembering a lot more. For example, I went and worked on a house (I'm an electrician sometimes) that someone else had worked on. After only a few hours there, I was able to explain to the owner over the phone almost 2 weeks later how something worked, and why he might be having the problem. At the time it was no big deal. It felt natural. But looking back, it was amazing to me. Of course it has its down side, too(no, I'm not wasting away). I remember almost everything, good or bad.
I've always been an easy going guy. Able to let most things slide right off. Punch me in the face, yeah I might get mad, but a few days later, I would have forgotten all about it. Now, better watch it! Another side affect is that I seem to process emotions differently. Used to be I was pretty even tempered. Something bad happened, I would make a joke about it till it didn't hurt anymore. I didn't realize I was doing it until now.
Now, I feel every individual emotion. No cover up.
So over the weekend, I said some pretty stupid things to someone very close to me. Hurtful things. At the time, I thought what I was saying was important. Now, I realize I was just being a prick. I've also come to realize other people have good memories too. And have for quite some time. All though at times I was able to let the hurtful things just slide away, others didn't have that luxury. I took it and them for granted. I may have lost friends because of it, and not even known it.
Well, I have apologized to the person I have hurt, but I know that the pain I caused won't just go away like that. It will probably take some time.....and hugs.....and flowers.....and maybe chocolate.
I will say this, I am damn glad that God doesn't choose to remember all the times I acted like some kinda 'window licker'...... (Lord, I apologize......). I know that because I have accepted his grace, I am fully forgiven. Past, present (although at the moment, I am being rather well behaved) and future mistakes are already forgiven and forgotten. I am not in danger of "losing my salvation". He's not looking for a reason to cross me off his 'good' list. If only people were that quick to forgive, and that willing to forget. But, its not our nature. So I will have to accept that healing from the pain I caused may take a little while.
Thank you Lord for your forgetfulness!
ME

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Funny, it doesn't feel like 10....

This is a bit late. But then, that's how my life usually goes. This last Friday was my wife and I's 10th anniversary. Dang! It just sounds so...so...long. But for the most part, it doesn't feel like its been that long.
We took the kids (4 & 6) camping this weekend. Our first camping trip this year, maybe our last! (but just because we are almost out of summer)
Not what I had in mind for the big 1-0.
So as I tried to ignore my children screaming and fighting, I sat and wrote a letter to my beautiful bride. Unfortunately, I never got to finish it....until now.

My sweet Shannon,
can you believe it has been ten years since the day we said "I do" in that terribly ugly Church in Snohomish? How is it something so long ago can feel less than so? I still remember dancing with you the night we met. How I had brought 3 girls but only danced with you.
All those nights drinking lousy beer.... (thats another post)
How about the winning streak of our co-ed softball team! ;-0
Our first apartment/ house with that crazy guy next door.
The first time we found out you were pregnant. Your first miscarriage.
Our first ( and current) house. Bringing home a small red head in a small car.
All those nights (and days) of bad sex. At least that has changed, right? Right?
Sure there have been some hard times, some good times, some silly times ("black squawks") but over all, I think we have had it pretty good. I have made mistakes, but you have stood by me, and continue to do so. For that I am eternally grateful. You have a power to make me so happy (and at times fairly miserable). You have such a caring heart.
I r
ealize that I hurt you, and that some times an apology isn't always enough. But please know that I love you more and more as each year passes.
I so look forward to what God has in store for us. Whether its working together for a social justice organization, or just standing together worshiping in a new gathering.
What ever the case may be, I hope it brings us closer together.
I am so thankful that you have stuck by me, gently corrected my course when needed, and helping carry my burdens. I only hope you feel the same about me.
You weren't my first love, but you'll always be my last.
Happy (belated) anniversary,
ME